What I am doing presently!

I'm listening to some weirdly calming music and contemplating- dangerous thing I know, and I realise, with regret. That I hate what I'm becoming, I'm sinking into obsessions that needn't be there. I am trying to be strong and hard and tough. But really I'm just some freaky little teenager. And I love it, being a teenager kicks ass!

But I think, life is and accumulation of thoughts, pictures, memories and as we sink into fading and dying, these are lost, we are lost in the bars of history. Seriously, will people remember us? This? This pitiful existance of sitting vacant and staring melancholy at a screen? Or will we to sink slowly into the pits of neverending normality?

I hate that, I hate the fragile thing we have become. But nevertheless we persist in things that needn't be there, here, at all. We persist with silly little obsessions and routines, traditions and revalations. What is it- one begs the question- all for? We could change the world everyday. then that woyuld be normal, and it is. Every moment, we are changing, and everything around us is changing. But will we fade? The great generations. The proud, grumpy yet sure of themself people we are today, or will we to, be set morose into paper and ink?

Will anyone ever admit happiness?

Will we ever make a difference?

Can fish really spontaneously combust?

These questions must be answered, well maybe not the fish one...

Technology's gone too far?

Well I believe so anyway. I'm sitting here in a normal sort of way, typing manicly away at my Dad's laptop (the computer's sort of died) and sending a text to my friend about Harry Potter on my phone, which has a built in mp3 (which I detest, I hate mp3s personnally and this one sucks) and it dawns on me. When will we ever stop? We've got music from our internet (mine at present blaring out The Wombats- Backfire at the Disco) and we've got TVs in our phones. Our computers can be portible, EVERYONE has a blog or myspace page or whatever and eventually, it will get too hard to cope, won' it? What happened to that age old concept of letter writing or going out to see a movie insead of pirating it or watching a little later on Sky. Will we slip into a human denial of other people or just get a wider range of friends? Enemies even?

It's weird thanks to this technology I have friends that I never would have had, people like me, people different to me. People on the other side of the world, so yes, it's brought people closer, I suppose. But, I don't think I'll ever talk to Kendal or Mellissa in America or see any of the weird little bands I've discovered live. And that's sad. We're all in a technological bubble of thought, which is nonsensical, I wouldn't be who I am today without the internet. I'm sure this is the case for a lot of us. I wouldn't be allowed as much liberty that is placed on me wthout mobile phones and well cars and buses and tarins, save my life from boredom.

So technology, it's good, it's let nations of people get contact with each other, but we're living in our 'techno-land' while others are starving, dying and uneducated. Hardly fair.

When will all this stop?

I think it needs to.

Is this the end?

End of what? I here you ask! I mean childhood- maybe not for you, and I thought mine was over. Which it is, but slowly I'm letting go to every childish thing, there's no more Harry Potter, No more KS3 (GCSEs WOO!) and stuff is just letting go. It's like everything I ever knew is going mad. Things are happening that would be weird or out of the question before. And yet I don't hate myself. I've become a complete weirdo, yet i'm finding it perfectly acceptable...
Funny really...                                                                     

Funny.